DANCING WITH SHADOWS – individual sessions

with Stijn Smeets

Making the darkness conscious


A shadow is a part of yourself you’d rather not own (like your jealousy, your destructiveness, or unacceptable sexual desire) or a forgotten dream. When a shadow is suppressed, it shows up unexpectedly and out of your control. Have you ever promised yourself not to turn into any of your family member (father, mother,…)? Do you sometimes find yourself acting or speaking like them anyway, unable to control it? That’s a shadow. Do you sometimes meet someone new and without apparent reason you feel irritated or repulsed? There it is.   

Shadow dancing

The purpose of Shadow dancing is to make your shadows conscious. By becoming aware of your shadows, they lose their control over you and can be transformed into a constructive and integrated part of yourself. The purpose is not to get rid of shadows, but to understand why that part of you is a shadow and what positive qualities are buried underneath. 

Shadow dancing is an adventurous expedition into your conscious and unconscious inner landscape. Together we’ll move over mountain ridges, spelunk into dark chambers, dismantle the beaver dam that blocks the fresh mountain water, and possibly slaughtering a sleazy hyena. Throughout the process, we reconnect with old friends, reliving forgotten memories, and return more alive.

Shadow dancing is a metaphor, a method for balancing and reorganizing the different persona’s or voices inside yourself. There is no actual physical dancing. The basis of this one-on-one coaching is voice dialogue and can include some drama or physical activity.


I was raised as a listener, trained as a psychologist, called for a life as a contemporary monk who keeps the emptiness alive. 

There are many ways that lead to the other shore. My calling is to live in between, on the ridges between the conscious and the unconscious, keeping their interaction alive. 

I am there with you when you try to find your way in, a friendly companion when you feel hesitant, a scout when you feel lost, an honest friend when your vision becomes blurred, a rooter when you’re fighting or embracing your shadows, and a ferryman when you want to get back safely. 


Sessions are individual and can be conducted in English or Dutch. Duration of a session can be tailored to your needs. When you decide to register for a session, we will talk on the phone and explore together if Dancing with Shadows is a good fit for you. As your companion, I am not coming from a moral high ground; withholding judgement, I look at what you want and what is stopping you from getting there. You are always in charge, I follow one step behind. Everything that happens during a session is confidential. I will not speak about it with anyone, but you can share about your session as much as you like with whomever you want.

To register for a session, please send an email to esdan.medez@gmail.com or go to www.dancingwithshadows.eu

I charge 80 euros per hour.

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